In
keeping with my annual tradition, I didn't actually see any of the
movies nominated for Best Picture this year. But I might have seen
these alternate films:
“Hell
or High Water” A charmingly quirky story of a divorced father in
West Texas desperately trying to explain to his ex-con older brother
how reverse mortgages actually work, while scheming to stay one step
ahead of the sheriff, who could just as easily have been played by
Tommy Lee Jones.
“Hacksaw
Ridge” A charmingly quirky story of a decorated WWII American Army
Medic who, after being honorably discharged, takes a job at Home
Depot in the store's eponymous tool area. He becomes the first man
explain the differences between a hacksaw, a back saw, a coping saw,
and a PVC saw without asking the guy in the other aisle.
“Fences”
A charmingly quirky story of a working-class African-American father
raising his family in the 1950s, while coming to terms with his past
and that Gray Grantham continues to be one of the lamest names ever
for a movie's main character.
“Arrival”
A charmingly quirky story of an elite team of expert linguists
brought together to decipher the garbled messages from a mysterious
airport PA announcer that is quite possibly threatening global and
intergalactic harmony by reassigning the gates and baggage carousels
for inbound spacecraft.
"Lion"
A charmingly quirky story, loosely based on true events, of a
five-year-old Indian boy who gets lost, thousands of kilometers from
home. He survives many challenges on the streets of Calcutta before
being adopted by a couple in Australia; 25 years later, racked with
guilt, he sets out to find his lost family and is mauled by a lion.
“Manchester
by the Sea” A charmingly quirky story of an uncle living in Quincy
who is asked to return home the North Shore to babysit his nephew.
Not knowing the delays to come, he struggles with his decision to
take the Southeast Expressway during rush hour. Seeing the Dorchester
Gas Tank, he recounts past past traffic nightmares and the automotive
congestion that caused him to leave Manchester and stick to the South
Shore. Look for the upcoming sequel – Salem by the Power Plant.
“Hidden
Figures” A charmingly quirky story of a trailblazing team of
clothing designers and seamstresses who created the over-sized
sweatshirts and baggy sweatpants that serve a vital role on campuses
everywhere during the early hours of Finals Week.
“Moonlight”
A charmingly quirky story of discovery and investigation, this film
chronicles the lives of Maddie and David as they struggle with
top-billing, clever writing, and the right weeknight time slot while
facing the rough and tumble world of supermarket tabloid covers and
industry rumors.
“La
La (I'm Not Listening) Land” A charmingly quirky love story between
Sebastian, a jazz musician on the rise, and Mia, an aspiring
waitress, who is just so goddamned tired of Sebastian's constant
yammering and insistence that he has found the way for Hollywood to
make a good musical again.
