When I have the guts to share...

Hi.

I'm Rick. And I'm an alcoholic. I hope you don't mind if I read...

I've been coming to meetings here, and in a couple of other places, on and off for a little over a year and a half.

They say you never forget your first time. So here I am sharing for the first time.

Like the typical first time, I'm going to fumble for around a bit. But it will be awkwardly quick and maybe satisfying. For me, at least.

So here I am sharing ...

I really started drinking in high school when a friend of mine and I found an unattended case of Molson at a beach party. My mother later told me that she knew I had over-served myself when I drank a half-gallon of orange juice the next morning. Well, it was actually early afternoon.

And away I went... Just booze. I tried pot and coke for a little while and that didn't work. I stuck to just booze. Mostly beer and shots. Since then I think I have probably gone almost every day for 35 years without not drinking. Funnels, kegs, pitchers, fake IDs, blackouts, vomiting. All the good stuff. I've been pulled over by the police a few times - I am very good at my backward alphabet, I know how to walk a straight line, where my nose is, where my car is, and where my pants are. I have been very lucky.

There were drinks with the guys after work. Drinks with the girls after work. A little something before dinner. A little something after dinner. A little something to get the day started. A Bloody Mary or two before the Thanksgiving feast. And then after. And at Easter. And Patriot's Day. And then Arbor Day... And... And then drinks with the guys before golf. And, of course, drinks with the guys after golf. And drinks just because...

And then...

And then my ex-wife began to go upstairs when I came home from work because she heard the ice go into my glass of vodka. Before I got angry. I didn't know why. Now I do.

And then my old son almost punched me in the face because - I didn't know why. Now I do.

And then my daughter walked home from my apartment in the middle of the night because - I didn't know why. Now I do.

And then a friend had to drive me around the parking lot to find my car because I forgot where I parked - I didn't know why. Now I do.

And then my girlfriend slept in the other room, or made me sleep in the other room because - I didn't know why. Now I do.

And then there were lots of drinks just because - I didn't know why. Now I do.

I'm not sober yet. But I'm getting closer. These meetings are important to me. This is a tough road.

If you looked closely at the back of my shirt a year ago you would see footprints from my ex-wife, my two kids, my parents, and my girlfriend kicking me here. I'm hoping that if you look closely now, you'll also see my own small footprints.

Thanks for listening. My name is Rick. And I'm an alcoholic.